Another Nice Weekend from God!

Shalom everyone! It’s been a while since i post something in this blog. I’m all busy with my schedule, assignments and lab reports, all of this had make me exhausted! Phew ~~

In this busy week, i had encounters few things, which i can say that some things are new experiences to me. Firstly, it’s about my health.  I don’t have a major health problem actually, but recently i have problem with breathing and my chest always hurt. So i decide to go to the clinic for check up. The ‘new’ experience that i mean is when the doctor said that she wants to perform ECG on me. It really shock to me when i heard that, because in my whole life, i never had ECG performed on me. However, thank goodness that everything is normal. The second time i went to a clinic, it’s about my right leg. I already sprained my leg 4 times and now it is not strong enough to walk further. I had it x-ray and the doctor confirmed that everything is fine. The best part about me going to clinic is (the 2^nd time), the doctor recommended me to a doctor that specialist in hearing. I have a problem with my hearing, and i already went to many places to find a cure, but it’s no use. So i give up on it. But when the doctor recommends me to see a doctor that specialist in hearing, i feel that there’s little hope for me to cure my hearing. Hope that i can get my hearing sense.

When i check for new updates on a group in my Facebook, i saw someone post this:

“Pope Francis: Third, professing: we can walk as much we want, we can build many things, but if we do not confess Jesus Christ, nothing will avail. We will become a pitiful NGO, but not the Church, the Bride of Christ. When one does not walk, one stalls. When one does not built on solid rocks, what happens? What happens is what happens to children on the beach when they make sandcastles: everything collapses, it is without consistency.

You can do a lot of “nice” stuff. You can lector at Mass or never miss one Life Night at your youth group. You can sign a chastity card or dish soup out to homeless people. In the end, though, if you’re not “doing” these things for Christ and building your life on Him, it’s not going to last. If you’re not thinking about Jesus the “being” than everything you’re “doing” is for nothing.”

                                                                                                – credits to our brother Timothy

When i read about this, i began to question myself. I always join any seminars and retreat that involve church. I always go to the gathering with brothers and sisters. But, did i do this for Jesus or i just want to show off? Then i remember about the short story that i read on the Catholic Sabah Newspaper today. The content also almost the same, “did you do all this for Jesus or you just want to show off to others?” This really struck on me. Because all this time i never thought about serving Jesus seriously, i just think about how to get out from my problems. Now, i realize that all the things that i do is not focus on Him, but for me alone. This is my weakness, and i hope that i can overcome this.

Ok~~ Now i think this is long already. Haha! My mood is light up when my friend text me, that we’re going to a gathering. Well, this is my first time joining them, gathering at Sacred Heart Cathedral, Kota Kinabalu. I don’t know much about this gathering, but i hope i can enjoy this and get a message from Him. For me, every gathering have a message, it’s depend on us to realize it or not. Well, that’s what i thought. >.< Bye now!

My white cat. ^_^

Just something i want to write

Hello everyone! It's already past midnight while i writing this. I was planning to go to bed, but i really want to write something here now. 

Now, my life is full with assignments and lab reports, waiting for the deadline. With so many works to do, but so little time i have, how can i finish all this works? well, about that, i just leave to Jesus, its more comforting like this. Give all my troubles, worries, and other feelings to Him. Because He can make it beautiful. :)

You know what i want to do the most right now? I want to attend a gathering, where i can praise and worship Him and listen to the sharing from my brother and sister in Christ. Since the situation here is not good, all the activities outside is limited, like our gathering centre need to close at 4 p.m, which means, no weekly gathering. It's been 1 weeks now and i already miss our ministry. Hope that i can attend gathering soon. :)

After joining the LifeFire Camp last 2 weeks, everytime i listen to church songs, i feel like want to dance and sing out loud. Wow, i dont believe that i want to do that, but thats what i want to do right now. hmmm.. 

Well, need to wait la, until things gotten good. :)

It's really late now, and i have appointment for clinic tomorrow. Ok, see u soon. :)

There is it, it’s Saturday already!

Today i just stay in my dorm and i tell you this. It’s very very very boring!!! I regret about not going home this week, seriously. =.=

First, i have my reason for not going home this week, because i promised with my friend that we will have lunch together today. Because we plan about this early, 4 or 5 days early, so i just stick to this promise. But, unfortunately, my friend’s aunt want to bring her out little bit, so we couldn’t have a lunch together, which make me feel lonely now. I wish i could go out to the town, but i couldn’t because of the situation here bit dangerous. What a boring life.

I spend my time mostly in front of my laptop, watching anime, playing game and checking on my Facebook. There’s nothing special happen today. And now i get annoyed with this boringness. I miss my keyboard and guitar at home, and i wish i can play them. T.T

It’s been a long time i hadn’t touch my instruments, especially my keyboard.

I want to share about something i found on my Facebook. While i was scrolling down, i saw one Bible statement that steals my attention.

“Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened.”

(Matt 7:7)

As i read this, the word of God, slowly i began to remember about my past.

I have many burdens and hurting, thanks to my past and i always pray that He will take away my pain and burdens. But, every praying and request needs time for us to see the fruits, and sometimes when the request is not suitable for you in God’s eyes, it will never come true, but He will replace it with something best for your life. When i look back to my past, i realize that He answer my pray little by little. He waits for the suitable time to give us something and slowly change our life.

Although i said that it take time for God to answer our prayer, but you also need to open your hearts to let Him enter your life. Because if you didn’t let God enter your life, how will God answer your prayer?

Some view from UMS, Sabah

Well, that's all i want to write today. :)

Just Another Thought !

Hallo, hallo! I don’t know what to write for today’s entry. But something bothered me when i scroll down on my Facebook’s wall this morning.

“Don’t let your faith become neither Cold nor Hot”

“Janganlah Imanmu suam-suam kuku”

When i saw this title, i become curious. “Hey, what is this mean for??” I asked my friend, and then she said, “Well, it’s like you’re not seriously have faith in God. Here is an example. You go to church every week, but you still go to clubbing or something that you mustn’t do. That’s what it means neither cold nor hot. ” When i hear her explanations, i think i can get the meaning of this phrase little bit.  

Today, there are some people around us have neither cold nor hot attitude towards their faith. They tend to rejects any issues that related to religious with an excuse that they want to be an ‘open mind’ person.  They are not really had faith in God, and not also really an atheist person. They just like to stand in the middle side. They are not devout in their religion, but if there’s an issue relate with religion that make them irritate, they will move forward to defend. Well, that’s all i know about them. I can’t say much in English because i don’t know what to say. This is all i got.  

 “I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were cold or hot!  You are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold so I will spit you out of my mouth. You think you are rich and have piled up so much that you need nothing, but you do not realize that you are wretched and to be pitied, poor, blind and naked. I advise you to buy from me gold that has been tested by fire, so that you may be rich and white clothes to wear so that your nakedness may not shame you, and ointment for your eyes that you may see. I reprimand and correct all those I love. Be earnest and change your ways.”

                                                                                       

                                                                                        (Revelation 3:15-19)

 ð  So, which one are you? Cold? Hot? Or neither Cold nor Hot? Just take a little time to do a self-reflection and pray to God on how you will strengthen your faith. 

Look at the creation of God !

" God does not call the qualify, but He qualify the call "

Konbanwa minna-san!! Genki-desu??? hahaha, what the heck is that??! Maybe some of you guys will think this way.

“Hello everyone!! How do you do???” That’s what it means. ^^,

I got no class in the morning, so here i am, writing about something again.

Since i have no other thing that i can do, i tend to think a lot. Sometimes i like to think deeply, then it cause my head hurt and i feel like i want to explode. Lol~ what a bad personality i have. There are many thoughts and words that i want to tell to the other, but unfortunately, i often can’t speak it out. So i always end up writing. That’s why i write in this blog.

Okay, enough with the nonsense, today i want to share about God’s invitation to serve Him in a ministry. Firstly, i like to say that not only the people in a ministry can serve God, but each one of us is qualify to serve Him. To serve Him means not only serving Him, but we also serve to others. Because God is presence in every one of us. There’s no saying that, “wow, he always go to church, or he always go to gathering, he qualify to serve the Lord.” No!! It’s not like that! Each one of us is qualify in His eyes, to serve Him, to serve the others. Well, this is only my opinion about serving God. Maybe there’s others opinion that more good to explain it.

Okay, back to the point. Last year, on the December 2012, we have a Christmas party that being held by LifeFire Ministry. I always join their gathering, so naturally i will join this kind of events. Moreover, its my first time in joining an event like this, so i became excited. Before the event start, sis Debs approach me and said that I’ve been chose to become one of the junior leaders (means that i will join them to serve in LifeFire ministry). “Wow, what’s with this offer!”, I thought. I didn’t give her a straight answer because i don’t know whether to accept the offer or not. I have a reason actually, because i’m a type of person that don’t have much talents, i can’t speak in front of many people, i can’t sing well when i’m alone and i can’t play any instrument well, with this personality i have, how can i become one of them (see here, i’m trying to reject God’s offer)?

I took my time to think and pray whether to accept this. I also ask my senior about their experience in accepting this kind of offer. Among the seniors i asked, i’m being touched by this senior word.

              

                  Sis Epal: “God does not call the qualify, but He qualify the call.”

When i heard this, there’s a voice whisper to me to only accept this offer, and He will guide me in my serving. Well, after some time, i decided and told sis Debs that i accept the offer.

LifeFire gathering 2012
=> Credits to who take this pic! <=

            ð  Early life and He slowly answer my prayer

Well, regarding this experience i had, this is actually God’s answer to my previous prayer. On my early life as a high school student, i have no chance in joining church’s activity. There’s no encouragement from my family, no transport to my church if i want to join something, only cousins, friends and myself that want to seek God, want to seek Faith and want to seek Answers about Catholic Church. I know about Jesus when i was a kid, but not deeply enough. Just enough knowing Him as our God, that’s all. I received my First Communion when i was 13, and Confirmation when i was 15. But, i don’t know anything specific about my church. When i was 15, i began to have many questions and want to search something that can fill my heart. I join many camps and seminars, just want to seek what was missing in my heart, but i can’t join too many of it because of family matters.

 That was the time that i began to pray that i want to join many church’s activity and i have the desire to serve Him. Slowly my prayer began to be answered, when i further my study in Labuan Matriculation College. Many things happen, and my faith began to grow here, until today, in University Malaysia Sabah, many things happen that cause my faith to be strengthen. One of it is, He answer my prayer about wanting to serve Him in a ministry. Even though i want to reject it in the first place, but God’s call is bigger than my flesh desire, so finally i accept it. Like brother Jude said on the first day of the camp, “give Jesus a chance to step to your life!”.

To my dear reader, i’m not saying that joining many camps and seminars, and go to church every week can make your a Holy person. No, that’s not it. And i’m not claiming that i’m a Holy person. I still have a very long way to search God and i still have many scars in my heart. That’s why i’m joining this kind of events, because i want to be healed, to feel God’s love and more importantly, to strengthen my relationship with Jesus. Many of my friends and cousins (not all of them la) misunderstood about what i’m doing, and this make me sad, but i still pray for them to open their heart. However, it’s not their faults, because when someone who know you since you’re child, they know about all your pasts and personalities, good/bad. That’s why when you change, sometimes you need to deal with rejections from them, some of them cannot accept your changes because they know you too well.

Wow, its long! Hahaha. Well, enough for today, see you guys around! J

                                      I wrote this when i’m in Matriculation. >-<

Ada waktu untuk kita tertawa

Ada waktu untuk kita berduka

Semua yang terjadi,

Tuhan t’lah rencanakan untuk kita.

Ada waktu untuk kita gembira,

Ada waktu untuk kita tersungkur,

Semua yang terjadi,

Pasti ada sebabnya.

Dalam semua yang kita hadapi,

Tuhan selalu ada di sisi,

Dia takkan pernah tinggalkan kita,

Kerna Dia Allah yang pengasih.

                                                                           Ecen, KML 11/12

Blessed Sacrament, Labuan
=> Credits to Edd, who taking this wonderful pic! <=

~ 3 Amazing Days The Lord Gave Me ~

Hallooo all, it’s been a long time since i write here. Miss this blog a lots! I’ve been busy with all the new works in my new semester. Well, last week i join a camp called “LifeFire Camp 2013”  for 3 days and 2 nights. I tell you this, this camp is such a amazing camp i ever have! This camp is filled by amazing praise & worship sessions and talk sessions, which i have to say it’s so interesting that i don’t wanna go home on the last day! ><

    

       ð  Just want to share some experiences when joining this camp!

This camp is actually held on 1^st March – 3^rd March 2013, at Bundu Tuhan Retreat Centre, Sabah. The first thing that make me love this camp is about the interesting talk sessions. The speaker that being invited is Jude Antoine. He is an amazing speaker. For the first time in a camp, i didn’t get sleepy when i hear a talk. The way he give the talk and all the jokes he make, has made us excited when listening to it. Through his sharing on how he encounter with God, it make me realize that God has always love us and patiently waiting for us to go to Him. God’s LOVE is amazing and i’m being touched on how He always love us!

The second thing that i love this camp is the praise & worship sessions! For someone like me that love music so much, of course i have the desire to worship God all the time. Before this, when entering the praise & worship session, i always have the desire to sing the song and dance with all my heart to glorify God. But when i look around and no one do it, i feel like i need to control myself from doing that. Haha! However, its different from this camp! On the first night during the camp, our brother Filix had gave us some talk about praise and worship session. He said that we can raise our hand and we can even jump during the session! Wow, my heart already excited when i heard that! I want to this for a long time and now, i can do it! Praise to the Lord, for calling me there! For the first time in my life, i finally can praise and glorify Him with all of my heart and i really enjoy this session!  

The most important point about this camp is how He touches my heart and heals me.

                                                                  

                                                               ^_^

  I have a problem that i can’t let go a person in my life. Although i lied to my friends and myself that i already let go and forget about him. This is because we always share about our faith and problems together, then we become close friend. But, suddenly he left away and i don’t know why he did that. Whenever i think about this, my heart will become sad and heavy, as if there are many stones in my heart. On the second day, on the praise & worship sessions, i told to the Lord, to help me to let go of him and replace his presence with His love. Then, when it come to worshiping session, a song touch me. The title of the song is “Bisikanlah Cintamu Yesus”  or in English, whisper Your love, Jesus.

Bisikanlah cintamu padaku Yesus

Ker’ba aku sungguh merinduiMu

Bisikanlah pada hatiku Yesus

Aku ingin, ingin bersamaMu

Tiada yang lbererti dalam hidupku ini

Melainkan mencari cintaMu

Dengarlah doaku Yesus

Ku perlukan kehadiranMu

Dalam hidupku ku serahkan seluruh jiwaku

Terimalah segenap hatiku

Ku ingin, ku ingin bersamaMu ya Yesusku

Ku dahagakan cinta kasihMu ya Tuhan

Bisikanlah oh bisikanlah

Ku ingin, ku ingin bersamaMu ya Yesusku

Ku dahagakan cinta kasihMu ya Tuhan

Bisikanlah cintamu Yesus

The lyric of this song had touched my heart, as if i pray trough this song and Jesus answer to my prayer. I closed my eyes and suddenly i felt like there’s a light surround me and it felt warm. The feeling that i felt that time can’t be describe by words. I really felt His love for me and i can let my friend go from my life. When you can let go of your burden, you can feel the lightness of your heart and you will become more relieved. J

Well, maybe that’s all i can write here. By the way, i have written something about what i felt during this morning during my lecture. Because i experience many rejection from people, although its not obvious on them and mainly its because the lecture was boring to dead.  Lol~ But one is on BM. :P

Our memory at Bundu Tuhan!

~ Credit to our photographer, brother Wen and brother Chen. ~

Kau Slalu Ada

Di saat ku sendiri

Dan semua orang menolakku

Engkau dating memelukku dan menerima

Di saat ku terjatuh

Dan semua pun meminggirku

Engkau dating mengisi hatiku

Dengan cinta kasih-Mu

Yesus, Yesus

Tak henti-henti ku memanggil nama-Mu

Engkau Tuhan yang tak pernah menolakku

Walau ku sering menjauh dari-Mu

Engkau selalu memanggilku kembali

Ku kagum dengan kasih-Mu yang besar

Yang selalu member ketenangan kepadaku

Terima kasih, Yesus

                                            Ecen, 5/3/2013

There’s a time when I seek you,

But I can’t find You,

Where are You, Lord?

Why did You leave me alone in this world?

Then, one day I hear He answer me,

“ I’m always here, my child.

Open up your eyes, open up your heart, and you will see Me here,

Always beside you. ”

The Lord have never leave us, but

We always leave Him.

He will always waiting for you,

With His overflowing Love.       

                                                Ecen, 5/3/2013